I have this curiosity about earthquakes. It is one of a few dangerous natural occurrences that I want to experience first hand. Growing up in the midwest I’ve been around massive thunderstorms my whole life. I’ve seen tornadoes, been in blizzards, been hit with golf ball-sized hail, watched fields of grass burn from a lightning strike, hell I’ve actually seen lightning strike the top of a car on the highway.

I have never felt anything like an earthquake though, not even a tremor.

Apparently Illinois had an earthquake this morning. A 5.2 quake they say, with tremors felt nearly 450 miles away. Everybody I’ve talked to today is focused on these tremors. Everyone I’ve talked to today, felt these tremors.

“Did you feel them?” they ask me.

I have to report, over and over again that no, I did not. Do you know why I missed out on this life-changing, ground-shaking event?

I was asleep.

The Sandman decided that today David Bickley – a generally light sleeper – would not wake up when the rest of the city felt the ground move. Oh no sirs, he would stay sound asleep dreaming of being a superhero, completely oblivious to this life-altering event.

I’m tired of the lack of earthquake experience in my life.

I’m going to San Francisco, where the earthquakes flow like wine.

Adios.

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